Today’s podcast took an unexpected turn. I started out with one intent, but before I knew it I was really addressing a long held false belief. Or dare I say, maybe even a false doctrine? In the very least a misunderstood or mis taught doctrine? I’m getting on my soapbox here so buckle up!
I feel like I’ve been raised to believe that feeling connected to God or having the Spirit with me is conditional. If I was righteous then I could feel the Spirit. If I was obedient, then I would be privileged to have connection with God. The opposite would also be inferred. If I was not righteous or made mistakes or failed or didn’t do the checklist of holy habits then I would be left alone without the reward of God’s spirit to be with me. God’s love and connection were conditional to my actions. This belief has served me well in moments I need the motivation to be righteous and obedient, and it has been dangerous in the moments I mess up and judge myself as undeserving of God’s love and connection. In those moments, I feel shut out and alone and truly damned. My progress stops and I feel the need to fix things on my own until I can earn God’s love and connection back again. Have you ever felt this way?
I know this could be argued either way through scripture, which is probably why I have struggled so much. Through some unexpected experiences, I have come to believe our connection to God is constant and unconditional. This belief serves me on both sides, both in the moments I’m doing well AND in the moments when I’m not, which is one reason I feel this is the greater truth.
Listen in. I’d love to know your own thoughts on this topic.
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