“Never let a trigger go to waste.”
I first heard this wise counsel last year, and I’ve found myself offering it up as a gem of wisdom in all my deep conversations.
It feels fitting to write on this topic this week, because I have been all sorts of triggered 😉
- Triggered by current events.
- Triggered by media.
- Triggered by hormones.
- Triggered by AI.
They’re likely all connected, because everything is.
So what does it mean to not let a trigger go to waste?
In the grand scheme of life, our triggers are invitations. They are catalysts for growth. If…. we don’t waste them.
Wasting a trigger happens when we get lost in the emotional story the trigger surfaces, and we find ourselves back in a victim pattern that we get stuck in. Worry, frustration, anger, and fear can all get stirred up in triggers that are still caught in a cycle, instead of using the trigger to break free.
Last summer, I attended a four-day coaching event where I was able to get coached by a dozen different coaches earning their certification. Want to know the topic I was coached on over and over again?
My fear of my audience.
Yes. My fear of my audience who reads my emails and listens to my podcasts.
Want to know why I was so afraid?
Because I thought something I might say could trigger someone. And I DID NOT want to trigger anyone!
This is one reason I took an 8-month break from podcasting. I found myself so ultra-curated in every word I was saying that the real Brooke became invisible.
Funny how it’s not just our own triggers that affect us, but we can also fall into trying to manage everyone else’s triggers, too. And when we do that, we disappear.
That might look like:
Not saying how you really feel because you don’t want to trigger someone.
Not setting boundaries because you don’t want to trigger someone.
Not being yourself, because you don’t want to trigger someone.
We trade our authentic self for what we think is someone else’s peace.
It was during this intensive coaching week that I had a massive breakthrough.
When I scanned my life of my biggest triggering moments, I finally saw how triggers represented the most transformative parts of my life. Those were the moments that I finally got so fed up or fired up that I took a new action or broke through to a new mindset.
Triggers represented my biggest moments of growth–when I allowed them to be used that way.
Never let a trigger go to waste.
I look at triggers differently now. I still spend a moment in the emotional fire they can bring, but I now see my reactivivity as an invitation to transform something or discover something.
The best part of realizing my triggers are potential growth for me is seeing how they can also be that for someone else.
What if someone gets triggered by me sharing my feelings or point of view?
Maybe that isn’t such a bad thing afterall. It could be the exact catalyst they need for their own journey.
This is the perspective I’m finally taking with my own work. I’m not going to worry anymore if someone gets triggered by something I say. I’m responsible for my intention and my heart, but beyond that is out of my control. And getting triggered is just an invitation to see something within ourselves.
Practicing Wholeness is learning to welcome the triggers. Don’t shoot the messenger. Take a moment to find what the message really is, and open yourself to what can come next if you let it.
You are loved.
Even the parts that get triggered.
Especially those parts.
Namaste,
brooke
P.S. Does this topic interest you? Check out this podcast episode from my breathwork teacher, Steven Jaggers where he teaches about it in more detail HERE.