A few months ago, I applied for a prestigious coaching position to be on the team of a famous teacher. It was one of those rare moments of seeing a hiring notice where I actually felt qualified.
So even though I wasn’t looking to work for someone else, I followed the nudge to fill out the application.
I was proud of myself for going out of my comfort zone and patted myself on the back for being so “unattached.” I really didn’t care whether I got it or not.
To my surprise, out of the bazillion applicants, I was chosen as a final contender to advance to the next round.
Suddenly, my “unattached” state became a little more attached 😉
And needless to say…
I didn’t get the position.
When I received my “thanks but no thanks” email, I didn’t just feel sad; I felt worthless.
The irony is that I teach and coach clients every day about how our worth is unconditional.
And still…
I forget.
I still forget that I am loved and have infinite worth, no matter what.
Have you ever had a moment where one rejection made you question everything?
My mind is trained to look for the positive and not to “take it personally.” But that doesn’t mean I don’t still have a part of me that feels like a failure when something happens in my life.
I still feel the feelings of failure, unworthiness, and not being good enough.
The difference now is that I know how to show up and support the part of me that doesn’t believe in my worth.
I spent some time feeling the feelings of failure and unworthiness (without telling a story) and offering love to the part of me that was triggered.
I moved through it rather quickly.
In the past, I wouldn’t have moved through it at all.
I would have just stuffed it down and kept going—reading the next book, enrolling in the next program, or setting the next goal to fix myself so I could be better.
I really prefer the new way that takes a few moments to find freedom and wholeness again, compared to the endless search for fixing that never led to an arrival.
Earlier this week, I led a Creation Circle all about the polarity of Unconditional Love and Conditional Love. One of the key takeaways in that experience was differentiating between what is truly unconditional in our lives and what is actually conditional. It’s something I end up teaching every client I work with, and I refer to it often.
Wholeness is not favoring one polarity over another. Rather, it is looking for the gift each side offers and living with a healthy balance.
We do some teaching, journaling, and end with a powerful meditation.
What I love about this conversation is that it helps us see where we’ve accidentally made our worth conditional on outcomes, approval, or success.
And sometimes simply seeing that is what helps us remember what has been true all along.
If you’re in a moment where something external has you questioning your worth, I think this episode could really support you.
I’m sharing a partial recording on the Practicing Wholeness Podcast this week, and I’d love for you to listen.
You are loved.
Namaste,
brooke