In 1991, my Dad bet me $100 that I couldn’t go one year without watching T.V. He was well known for his “motivational bets”.
Back then, no TV meant I gave up a few basic TV channels and traded them for the analog lifestyle of the 90s.
The first week was hard, and then I basically forgot the TV existed.
When the year was up, I got my $100, and then my Dad renewed the bet again every year after that. By the time I graduated from high school eight years later, I was $800 richer and had read hundreds of books and practiced the piano for ten thousand hours. Needless to say, I think that was an excellent tradeoff.
Fast forward to 2026.
The TV screen is not a temptation for me, but that little black screen in my pocket has reached threat-level insanity, and I find myself wanting someone to offer me a really good incentive to get off it.
Nobody is going to pay me to get off my phone. Not even Dad.
And to make things more complicated…
There ARE legit reasons that I want to keep my phone around, but I most definitely want more moderation.
I justify my phone usage by arguing how productive I am. I don’t have social media on my phone, but I do have podcasts, books, online courses, Zoom, Voxer, Marco Polo, email, Amazon, Pinterest, and ChatGPT. (All of which I love and still want in my life.)
Since my kids are home for the summer and moderating their screen time feels inauthentic unless I do the same for myself, I decided it was time for a behavior overhaul.
So far, it’s worked amazingly well, and in case it helps you, I’d like to share a few things that have dramatically (and immediately) reduced my phone time. A few of these I’ve practiced for years. Two new ones I just introduced reset my life balance overnight.
Here are my top 7 hacks in a very important order:
1. DREAM TRADEOFFS.
Giving up phone time without a strong “why” isn’t likely to last. If you’re not spending time on your phone, what are you going to do instead?
What do you wish you had more time for? Hobbies? Friends? Projects? Presence?
It’s easy to think about the negatives and what I don’t want (distraction, my life passing by without fully living it, missed moments and missed opportunities…)
But even more motivating is to think about the positives.
What do I want for myself instead, and why do I want it?
Dream big!
For me, I was so excited to get back into playing the piano and composing music. I have a stack of books I’m reading and a house project list for both interior design and decluttering. I also started playing the guitar for the first time since 8th grade. (It’s never too late.)
Dreaming about the trade-offs is so fun! Make a list of all the things you would really love to do… remembering to include things that can be done in a few minutes as well as those that require more time.
We often default to the phone because we feel like we need to occupy ourselves for just “five minutes”. I have given myself permission to read my book for five minutes or practice scales on the piano for five minutes, or even just stare at the wall for five minutes. There’s something magically refreshing about doing absolutely nothing.
Remember, Dream TradeOffs work both directions.
When we consistently distract ourselves with our phones, we are trading joy, hobbies, skill development, fun, adventure, finished tasks, rest, relationships, and more. We can trade FOR our dreams or AGAINST them. There’s always a choice.
2. Charge Your Phone Outside Your Bedroom.
I started this habit over 15 years ago, and it is life-changing. I charge my phone in the kitchen, and by default, I always get a buffer of time as I get ready for bed and get up in the morning, which is protected from screens.
The only time I have a phone by my bed is when I travel overnight, and it is shocking to me how different I feel when the phone is the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning. Coming back home to charge it in the kitchen is always a welcome relief after traveling. It keeps me committed to this habit for life.
If this was the only change you made with your phone–this one would be worth it.
Also… in 15 years, I’ve never once had an emergency so big that someone couldn’t get a hold of me.
3. Delete the Addictive Apps.
I deleted social media apps years ago from my phone, and it was the best decision ever.
Does that mean I’m never checking out Instagram?
No.
I just do it from my desktop computer–which is tethered to a wall plug–instantly building in more moderation because I don’t sit at the desktop computer that much.
Because this has worked so well for me for social media, this past weekend I finally did it for some other apps as well…
Amazon, Pinterest, ChatGPT, and YouTube were my big addictions.
I still want access to those resources, but now I just access them from my desktop computer instead.
Already, I’m saving tons of money by not having Amazon on my phone to add something to my cart every time an idea comes to mind. Worth it already. (Hey… maybe I am getting paid to not be on my phone!!! Who knew!)
4. Opal
The Opal app is a lifesaver. It’s a phone moderation app that lets you set timers and rules for your phone usage that is more sophisticated than default iPhone restrictions. I love that I can HARD LOCK myself out of something until the next day.
- I have a hard lock on the internet browser on my phone from 8:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m.
- I have a counter for how many times I can open my email app before getting hard locked out UNTIL THE NEXT DAY. (pssst. I have mine currently set to only checking it 3x a day.)
- I have even set hours for when I want to block access to things. This has helped me keep my work time protected so I don’t go down rabbit holes and suddenly realize that I lost my window to work on something.
I had Opal for a few years, and when my subscription was up last year, I decided to save money and cancel my subscription, believing I had enough self-discipline to not need it…
I LASTED TWO WEEKS!!!!
TWO WEEKS before I came running back saying “take my money please! I need you!” For me, it is worth every penny, and I will keep subscribing over and over again. I wish I didn’t need it, but I do.
5. If I’m Not Moving, I’m Not Watching.
I’ve listened to podcasts on walks for years, but video was always something I’d sit and watch. Sometimes for hours. When I removed YouTube from my phone, I swapped screens by watching it on the TV, but I do it while bouncing on my rebounder. I get steps in and still get to watch my favorite YouTube channels… but moderation comes in because I eventually get tired of bouncing. I think of it as if my movement is what is generating the power for the TV. If I’m not moving, then I’m not watching YouTube.
6. It’s okay to have single-use devices.
The benefit of the phone is that you can have one device do multiple things. The problem with the phone is that one device can do multiple things.
For me this is more often a problem.
I will get on my phone for one use and end up going down so many rabbit holes that a five-second task becomes a 45-minute detour.
Now…
I have a Kindle to read my books (or I read physical books).
I have a reMarkable for notetaking (or I use physical notebooks).
I have an alarm clock.
I have an analog watch for knowing what time it is.
Each of these devices is single-use. They don’t also simultaneously grant me access to email, the internet, and my horoscope 😉
Other single-use devices could be a camera, day planner, or once again…relegate apps that are also accessible to a computer to only live on a computer instead of your phone.
You don’t need everything all in one place, especially if more often it ends up to be a problem instead of a benefit.
7. Remove the Color, Remove the Craving.
This one final move was the most shocking to me of all. You’ve probably noticed that most of my other tips involve making things “harder” or less “convenient” to access. I’ve used those tips for years, and they help immensely. But this past weekend, after deleting my addictive apps, I turned my phone to grayscale and have been absolutely shocked at how different my phone feels.
It’s amazing how enticing color is to our senses and the dopamine hits we get. But remove the color, and suddenly the phone seems really, really boring.
It’s like being addicted to sugar because of the flavor, and all of a sudden there’s no taste anymore. I’m not going to eat a gallon of ice cream if it has zero taste. I also find I don’t want to stay on my phone if there’s no color.
This is a simple setting you can toggle on or off in your phone’s settings. This hack is next level (especially if you’ve removed your own addictive apps first).
My guess is that most people won’t last long in grayscale…it’s so rewarding to see color, but so far, this hack has been the most physiologically impactful for me. My body doesn’t want to stay on the phone when it looks so boring. I don’t get the same rush of dopamine rewards. I can access the basic necessities with no problem, but there’s nothing alluring about staying on there since all my addictive apps are gone and so is the color.
Suddenly, my phone works as a tool instead of a master.
And…
I got my life back.
And that, my friends, is how I quit my phone addiction overnight.
Already I feel calmer, and I’m ready to have an amazing summer with dream tradeoffs 🙂
Do you have any other tips that help you? I’d love to know!
You are loved!
Delightfully,
brooke
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P.S. After writing this email, a new episode was released on the Know Thyself Podcast titled “Being Distracted Is Costing You Everything”. Dandapani is a Hindu Monk who has fascinating thoughts on how we can train our focus. I’m loving this interview! Also… this is one of my favorite podcasts to listen to. So many good gems here!