Yesterday’s yoga class taught me a lot.
I showed up to a class with a teacher I had never had before. From the moment she pushed play on her playlist, my body braced.
Rap music.
For yoga.
I don’t have a problem with rap music if I’m having a dance party in the kitchen…
But for yoga?
I really want to experience calm.
Then the heavy rock music came.
For 30 minutes I practiced non-judgment.
I played the role of the observer.
I noticed that I was irritated and told myself it was okay that I was irritated.
I acknowledged that we all have different tastes in music and it’s okay.
I let myself be uncomfortable.
Halfway through class, I had a shift.
I said to myself,
“Brooke. You are an adult woman. You don’t have to stay here if you don’t like it. Go home.”
I had plenty of inner protests…
But I paid for it!
I drove twenty minutes to be here!
But I don’t want to make the teacher feel bad.
But I don’t want to walk out in front of twenty other people!
What will people think of me?!
Does that make me a quitter or lazy?
I acknowledged those parts that were worried. I assured them that my worth doesn’t depend on what other people think, and it’s okay to walk out.
So that’s exactly what I did.
In front of twenty other people, I rolled up my mat, put away my blanket and blocks, and left halfway through.
It was a simple moment on the surface, but I wouldn’t have done that three years ago. I would have valued other people’s comfort and opinions over my own.
Here’s what I have learned…
Sometimes discomfort is the practice. Learning to stay with it without judgement or making it mean something about you or someone else is a helpful skill to develop.
And sometimes discomfort is optional. You could just leave.
Both options are valid.
Wisdom is knowing which path to follow and when.
The tricky part?
There’s usually a second layer of discomfort right below the first one: The fear of what other people will think. That’s the layer that keeps so many of us stuck in situations we could simply walk away from.
The more I have practiced loving and accepting the parts of me that are worried about people-pleasing, the less I have to people-please…
Why?
Those parts just need to know they are loved. When I can give them that, they stop desperately needing outside approval to be okay.
Where in life are you currently feeling discomfort?
I’ll ask you what I asked myself on that mat:
Can you be with it without judgment – and then honestly ask yourself, is this the kind of discomfort I need to stay in for practice feeling my feelings? Or does my growth come from walking away?
You are a creator. You get to choose.
The light in me honors the light in you.
Namaste,
Brooke
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